Our "Bad Deal" Relationship Template

Most couples have the same fight over and over again. These seemingly endless, irresolvable, repetitions are the templates of our unsuccessful relating strategies. They are a vicious cycles that dig us in deeper and deeper, eating up, over the years, more and more of the goodwill and connection we start off with. Terry Real calls this a couple's "Bad Deal." 

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Couples Core Negative Image Stepping Out of your "Bad Deal"

Core Negative Image or CNI is our vision of our partners in their most difficult, irrational and least loving moments. When we move into "you always" or "you never" with our partner we are no longer arguing with each other but rather our caricatured version of our partner.

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Cycle of Love Addiction

We are taught how to have intimacy and attachment by our family, specifically our primary caregivers; mom and dad. How our parents relate to us, our siblings, and each other, becomes very familiar to us as children. It creates a template for future relationships and intimacy. As we grow up and look for our own partner we are attracted, unconsciously or consciously to what we know and are familiar with.

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